Nerd Alert

I love math. I'm wicked awesome at Suduko. I keep a scorecard when I attend baseball games. I can file taxes by hand. I'm handy with Excel, SQL, SPSS and SAS. In other words, 100% nerd. I dressed the part this morning for church, wearing the first bow tie I've ever owned thanks to tagging along on a trip to Belk with Riley. And while I am a Star Wars fanboy and an avid Xboxer with a decorated gaming past that includes modded maps on Command and Conquer Red Alert 2 and successful city planning in Sim City 2, I am not Geek enough to mount a TV on our wall. I am always looking for chances to prove to Roo (and her dad) that I can be handy around the house with chores a little more difficult than changing a light bulb. With Google at my fingertips, I can learn just about anything in mere minutes (like how to make the perfect meatball, tie a bowtie or when Sons of Anarchy Season 4 will start on FX), but even I knew better than to rely on various do-it-yourself YouTube clips and turn to the pros when we decided to hang our plasma on the wall in our living room. Kind of like the cartoon devil you see on one shoulder, angel on the other or Goofus and Gallant adventures depicted in the latest Highlights magazine, I had no trouble playing out the two scenarios: 1) me hanging the TV and having it rip from the wall and crash to the floor just before we find out how much the lady saved on the latest episode of Extreme Couponing 2) Filing a service warranty in the drawer of important papers with peace of mind that my only concern will be retraining my neck muscles to the new viewing angle. No brainer. In detail, I explained my dilemma and needs at Best Buy, bought the necessary wires and mounting supplies and made the appointment for the Geeksquad's housecall. However, when the men in blakc arrivved sometime between 8am and 4pm for the appointment, of myself, the dogs and the two Geeksquad reps, there weren't 2 feet on the carpet of the room before I was able to sense their hesitancy. Their diagnosis confirmed the notion that this wasn't going to be as easy as it should be or I wanted it to be. They went through the whys and what nexts (no crawlspace means the wires have to go outside the house, remove the vinyl, need an electrician, need longer cables, call us back) and I'm left typing this out as I watch Deangelo Vickers and Michael Scott duke it out...nay, hug it out...on the TV that remains rested on the TV stand. I wonder if they would have taken me more seriously had I been wearing my bow tie.