The grass is always greener

Thanks to global warming or El Nino or Cobra's weather machine, we've been in an severe to extreme drought for the better part of the past 2 years. In case you don't know, severe is only the middle level of drought. Its worse than abnormally dry and moderate, but not as bad as extreme or exceptional. Isn't that kind of like a fast food restaurant only offering medium, large and super-sized drinks and then rejecting you when you order a small? Can you ever really be more dry once dry? Nevertheless, one tropical system and inches upon inches of rain later, we were not only out of the severe drought stage but approaching annual average rainfall totals with 4 months left to go in the year. A year ago, when we first moved in to our house, we were blessed with the gift of a lawn mower from Riley's uncle. I could go weeks without cutting the grass this time last year, it was a matter of what shade of yellow I wanted the yard to emit. A year and Fay later, the grass is green and growing. I cut it Thursday afternoon and by Sunday, it is ready for another trim. Yard work was not the only impact of the tropical downpour of last Tuesday. The eco-system that is our backyard was thrown out of whack in many other ways. The birdseed that scattered the yard below the corner of the porch under the feeder was washed away. The song birds have all but given up on our house as a food source. Mosquitoes are breeding in a moisture wonderland. Spidermonkeys fled to the garage to escape the rising waters. They weren't the only ones. Late Thursday night on the normal last call for the pups to potty, I carried Max out to his spot as Kennedy sped out to hers. On the return trip, Max's eye caught it first...something sliding away from the back door on the porch. I thought it was a stick blowing across the deck...until I got near. I quickly shuffled Kennedy inside and deposited Max onto the kitchen floor. I grabbed a flashlight and stared into the eyes of the beast. A snake of about 2 feet in length stared back at me, waiting for my next move. I have an Indiana Jones-like passion for snakes. The thought that I wasn't wearing shoes and probably stepped right over it when we first went out didn't sit well in my head. But there was not time for emotion, I had to take action. I obtained a cardboard box from the garage as well as the broom. I snapped a couple photos on my cell phone then gave the serpent my best slap shot into the box. I closed the lid, it hissed and rattled. I put the broom on top of the lid to be sure it was secure. To google I went next, searching and researching the www in an attempt to identify this brand of asp. It didn't take long; I credit my wildlife searches from weeks before in relation to the bigfoot carcus capture. Turns out I had captured an Agkistrodon contorix contorix linnaeus right there in our backyard. Southern Copperhead to the common folk. A mildly venomous asp with an attitude, I proceeded to slay the dragon with a shovel. Its in a garbage bag on the side of the house if you want to come check it out. I try to show anyone I can. I felt a bit like Tom Hanks when he finally made fire. I trapped and killed a dangerous creature that threatened the lives of pets around the neighborhood. Unfortunately, Riley and Jessica aren't exactly sleeping easier these days...they may have been better off not knowing of my adventure as it stirs the notion that there could be more out there. Yet, whatever Gustav may bring...be it more yardwork or slithering stragglers, I feel I am ready to take it all on.

Is it better to ask permission or forgiveness?

I feel pretty bad. With Riley about 500 miles away, working her weekend away at another hospital I went and did something without telling her. I am not sure how she'd react so I went through with it. Ultimately, it doesn't even effect her, its so innocent and when she returns at the end of this week (not soon enough), she'd never even know. I have grown a mustache. In all my days of shaving, I have mixed things up: chin goatee, full goatee, shaved head with full beard, shaved head with (some) hair on top and sideburns, complete lack of shaving. I've never had just a mustache. I was cleaning myself up today and in combination, my razor seemed to get overly dull and I also ran out of shaving gel with a sole strip of stubble yet to be shaven. Looking in the mirror, squinting a little, I looked just like my dad. I thought it was cool, at least for the weekend. But while I see my dad in the mirror, I hear Riley in my head telling me how ridiculous I look. And when I say thought it was cool, I mean to say I know it looks ridiculous. But still, I couldn't tell her. I'm certain she suspects something anyway. She can probably hear the whiskers scratching the mic on the phone. So now, do I shave it off in the morning after a quick trip to Target to reload my shaving cream stock and pretend it never happened? Do I lie awake all night wondering whether to call and wake Roo and spill the beans. I'd hate to be tagged in a facebook picture and have her see it before I can tell her. Do I run out know to take care of it before Jessica gets home and laughs at me? I thought about driving up to D.C. to lay it out there and let her see it and feel it first hand? We've been married for 3 months now...together for years on top of that. I have no reason to worry about something so insignificant...and yet no reason to dig myself into such a hole over something so silly. Perhaps just missing her so much for the past few weeks has amplified the emotion. Perhaps my oversensitivity pushes me in the wrong direction when it comes to be open and honest with her. Perhaps the problem I am facing is really with myself and no matter what she thinks of the scruff beneath my shnoz, I need to face the mirror and figure out how I could let myself run out of shaving cream in the first place.

Sweet dreams

Max has inherited the throne from Princess Abby as being the spoiled pup that sleeps in the bed. I am a light sleeper so his presence has taken a toll on my REM. Even without Max rolling around or chomping on a toy at my feet, I am a light sleeper. Really intense, long-lasting and "meaningful" dreams are hard to come by. You know, the really good ones that have you wondering when you wake up if that really happened or not. Riley seems to be sleeping much better than she was a little over 3 months ago. No more nightmares, nightmares related to wedding disasters that is. Not to say my dreams don't get crazy. My latest involved us celebrating Riley's acceptance to Clemson for grad school and the resulting move to Greenville, SC which would allow me to still commute to Charlotte. Not sure what that is supposed to mean, I'll have to google it. Also, not sure what it means when, being a light sleeper, I can wake up in the middle of the night and lie awake for 20-30 minutes and think up very random ideas, tasks, lists, whatever. A major technical breakthrough in my last stroke of genius came to me a few nights ago at around 3 a.m. Instead of counting sheep to get back to sleep, I ran query methodology and code through my head. Another night, I generated my weekend chore list. Another, I wrote out a card for Riley in my head. The next morning, I added some ink and snuck it into her bag before she left. Last night, I realized I was overdue for a post here...and came up with this.

Its a boy!

Congratulations to Anna and John today on the birth of Buxton Thomas! The due date was yesterday but the anticipation started with a birthday lunch for Anna last Sunday. Riley worried that a late week work trip would keep her away from the baby's first day. There was centimeter talk all week, though I admit I don't really have any idea what is being measured. Spicy foods and eggplants were eaten and the yet the due date had come and gone...but not for long, shortly after midnight, Riley got the first call. They were on their way to the hospital though not quite ready for the main event. That wouldn't come for about another 10 hours, and I'd guess Riley didn't sleep for 10 minutes between. I worked from home and snuck away from my "desk" at lunch to meet her and the proud parents at the hospital. John quietly apologized to me as we watched Riley hold the baby boy; apologized if by chance the birth had set Riley's wheels in motion faster than I was ready for. No apology needed, I said. My wheels have been turning since May 18th.

How Did I Live Without You

After almost 60 hours, I couldn't take it anymore. Sometime between our one night stay in downtown Charleston and our week on Edisto Island, I lost my cell phone charger. If I had to narrow it down to a specific, I'd guess the charger went missing sometime between when I packed my bag and when I left the hotel to pick up Riley at her hospital en route to SC-17 towards Savannah. During our vacation, I had to leave my cell phone turned off, only powering up to check voice mail once a day. Back at work, I followed the same practice but the juice could only last so long. Wednesday morning, it was all over. Its really got me thinking...what did we do before cell phones. I was handcuffed to communicating only through land lines. At the beach, I was denied 24-7 access to my fantasy teams or facebook notifications. What did we do before the internet? Next Thursday, the cable guy is coming to connect us to HD service. How did I ever watch TV using mere rabbit ears? Its not hard if you really stop and think how much we take for granted and if not so much take for granted, just completely rely on and also how far we've come. Riley and I have been officially married for 2 months, 8 days and 82 minutes...give or take a score. But the way Riley and I click, and also the way we calamity (yes, I used calamity as a verb) you'd think we've been married for much longer. It feels like longer than 2 months, 8 days and now 84 minutes and maybe that's because I really don't remember what my life was like before Riley. I can't imagine how I ever managed. Not just emotionally, spiritually or dietar-ally but totally. There is so much ahead of us, make no mistake, I have no reason to look back. That's not where this is coming from. What I am saying more so is that I am so appreciative and fortunate to be sitting on the back porch, at our new patio table, waiting on steaks to grill in my smoker, with Max asleep at my feet with my wonderful wife inside, probably flipping between Jeopardy and Entertainment tonight. Next week at this time, when those shows are broadcast in HD, perhaps she'll understand what I am getting at here.

Riley and her mate plus 8

Check the DVR on our new big TV...too big Riley says, but when upgrading to a new big flat-screen, might as well go big...you'll find several an episode of John and Kate plus 8. We recently got hooked on to the show thanks to the many mini-marathons that the TLC network has aired over the past couple months. The story is as simple as they make it look...a couple had twins, then tried for one more and had more...sixtuplets. I know that's not the right word, but I'm mathematically qualified that to say there is no confusion as to how many more kids they had. Riley and I might be a ways out from our first, nearer or farther depending on who you ask, but that show sure makes me think we could really have some fun sharing our house with 8 kids. That is of course, assuming that we get the tv series sponsorship and generous handouts to match. For now, Roo and I are sharing the beach house on Edisto Island with 8 other kids, some bigger than others. Our sun-splashed week has gone by fast and we will had back to Rock Hill tomorrow a little more tan than when left. No sun burn for me this time. It was Riley that spent a little more time on the beach whereas I spent a little more time in the sand...sand traps at the island 18. I fired a 97, best score of our trio and best honest and non-digital score I have posted in some time. I lost faith in the weatherman, who had bound us to the house for 2 days due to torrential tropical rains. Come to find out the low pressure system only postponed golf from Wednesday to Thursday; we watched Mother Nature give birth to tropical storm Cristobal, and we watched it pass right by. More of the usual through the week, ham rice, bocce ball, boogie boarding and board games. I took up kakuro. We missed karaoke. We fished the Atlantic, yesterday off the docks and today on a chartered boat. While I brought in the most fish, Riley had the biggest catch...a small shark. Jessica caught a boy, but threw him back. Just like last year, we have ran out of boiled peanuts and time on the beach all too quickly and soon we'll be headed back up 95 to 26 to 77. Our "kids" back in Rock Hill will be excited to see us. Most eager for our return though is probably Phil, who has been dog-sitting Kennedy, Max and Abby. The hardest part of his sitting was waking up at 7 each day to let them out. I don't expect Phil to be working towards kids anytime soon or offering to babysit for us when we have our 8. Jessica?!

But I Wanna Go Home

Boulder, Colorado is a lot like an REM video. Shiny, happy people bouncing all around. But in my mind, I’m going to Carolina. A three day trip sent me out west to the Front Range of the Rockies to train at one of my new hospitals. Meanwhile, back east, Riley is attending to a grand opening for a client of her own in Charleston. We will rendezvous briefly in Rock Hill for about 36 hours before headed to Edisto Island for another week-long vacation with Riley’s family. After years of monitoring the activities of Riley’s teenage cousins, now happily married, I am moving out of the “boys room” and into a room with Riley. We will share a room, as a married couple should, but I am certain the thought her parents being in the room below will float in the back of my mind all week. Nevertheless, with the granola-eating, dreadlock wearing, free-spirited liberalist capital of the world behind me, I am leaving on a jet plane for Charlotte, via Atlanta, and looking forward to the warm breezes of the Atlantic seashore. Can’t you feel the wind blow?

Bedtime story

I've always been a fan of weddings. They always lead to good times and great stories. You get old friends and new family together and create memories that stand the test of time. It goes without saying (which is an odd pre-cursor because if something really went without saying, it wouldn't ever be said) that Riley and I etched many of those moments into our minds and reliving them in conversation ever since. What has been especially fun has been discovering the memories we didn't make...at least directly. Be it over dinner, on the phone, in the car or between songs of Rock Band, Riley and I have been very intrigued to hear what else took place over our wedding weekend. We've heard some interest reception table talk, nearly solved the mystery of a pair of missing shoes, learned the varying post-reception habits of several guests, laughed at the late-arrival antics of a few lost sheep that went to the wrong church and wrong wedding. If you've got a good story from our wedding, share it. I could use a good story tonight before bed. Its been a rough weekend as the Sox have gotten sweep-revenge on the Cubs. I can't decide who has worse announcers...ESPN Sunday night or Southside WGN. Less than memorable play by the Northsiders...but a memorable weekend all in all. We finally completed our patio furniture, I installed surround sound and above all that...well, I'll save this story for next time.

Oh how the years go by

It all happened so fast, I took one wrong turn down the aisle where the water wings, picnic baskets and other summer assortments used to be and I looked back and she was gone. The Target associate asked if he could help me find something, to which I simply replied “my wife.” If you judged our relationship solely on our Target shopping patterns, you’d think we’ve been married for 50 years. It’s flawless, aside from a wrong turn or wander here and there, efficient and effective. We go for what we need and we know where it is and we know all the stops to make along the way. And when we split, which we always do…she to either clothing, handbags or makeup and I to electronics, we always know where we will meet up again. It is retail poetry in motion. Hard to believe it has only been a month since Riley struggled to cut into our wedding cake at the reception. She thought we had a really dull knife, I suspected very stale cake. Turns out we were cutting into the cardboard base. An instant memory to be savored just as delicious as the deserts that night.

Stay at home dad

On Thursdays, I work from home, a benefit and privilege provided by my employer. Riley's schedule varies but when she's not on the road, she is working from her office (or the couch and her Blackberry...just kidding dear). Most days, I set out at 6:30...ok, honestly MOST days its more like 6:45 or 7...and am greeted by Riley back at the house at 4:30 that afternoon. Today, she set out into the real world while I lounged in my office (the couch) and hacked away on the laptop in my boxers. You'd think I'd spend most of the day hammering away at terrorists on Call of Duty 4 or hack at sliders in MLB2K8 but I've actually been very productive today. Worked on a few client issues quietly while the kids (Max and Kennedy took their morning naps). Organized my Outlook folders. PBJ for lunch. Still in my boxers. Dogs morning nap has stretched into the afternoon. Check my office voicemail, return a few calls. Put another dent in our boiled peanut collection. I then looked up and it was already the 3rd inning of the Cubs game. They are down 2-0. Its a turn back the clock game so the players and staff are all decked out in 1948 garb. Prices at the park were also rolled back. Can we do the same for the cost of a gallon of gas? Even the broadcast for the first two innings is a throw back. Black and white, only certain old time camera angles, old style graphics and text. All of that yet the game is still being broadcast in HD. Go figure. In any case, I am looking forward to turning the clock ahead to next Thursday, because I could really get used to this being at home all day.

I'm no Buddhist but...

....recently a married Buddhist couple in California, I believe, vowed to never be more than 15 feet apart. So many questions. What does he do for a living? I mean they have to afford the rent on the tent they live in (no joke). The Yahoo article explained how they use public restrooms. I'll say this, there are definitely some things I do that Riley wants to be nowhere WITHIN 50 feet of...like when I play Xbox on-line with sharp-tongued teenagers. We are happily married and two have become one, no doubt...yet somehow, Monday night, I found myself sitting alone at the movie theater. Perhaps the Buddhist folks beliefs are a little extreme but shouldn't the sacred bonds of marriage afford me the right to never have to see a movie alone again? Ok, so I am being dramatic for the sake of drama. What had happened was a classic tale of retail vs. comic book, cosmo vs. molotov cocktail, SJP vs. RDJ. Jessica, Riley and I went out to eat Monday then decided to go see a movie. Riley and Jessica chose some movie they made out of some old HBO show that wasn't the Sopranos. I opted out and saw Iron Man instead. Interestingly enough, I was one of at least 8 or 9 single-seated guys in the theater (and on a Monday night this made up about 90% of the audience). I suspect the better-halfs were on the other side of the cineplex, taking in all that Carrie Bradshaw had to offer. I only hope for the Buddhist beau's sake that the bride granted him a 2 hour reprieve from their vow when they went to the movies.

I'm back...

...and this time I brought a friend, specifically, my wife. I had a lot of fun documenting my adventures in Chicago and the few readers I had seemed to enjoy following along. Well, its time to put those creative juices back to use. Riley and I were (finally) married on May 17th, 2008 in Hartsville, SC. The event was more than I could have imagined or asked for. Every day leading up to the ceremony was an adventure and every day since has been equally exciting. From the Caribbean shores of Antigua to the hardware stores of Rock Hill, Riley and I have plenty of stories to tell. With a lifetime of memories yet to be made ahead of us, check back here as we share some of our everyday and occasionally extraordinary adventures here. Can't wait to hear what we've been up to? Here's is a preview of what's to come....all things wedding including our male bridesmaid, our 6 hour layover in the Netherlands returning from our honeymoon, our newest monster Max, Eric's home improvement lessons learned from Riley's dad and the household ban of a top selling video game. Stay tuned.

She Said Yes

I only made a few calls last night, sent a few IMs to those I couldn't reach. Eventually, I know everyone that needed or wanted to know, would know. I didn't make a big deal about it at work (until Jen made it a big deal) and my friend Meg Ryan noted that "hearts are breaking all over the world" though maybe my own world. I've been telling the whole story in bits and pieces here and there, so now, I share the whole story, with the whole world...or at least the 4 people that read this. Riley and I are engaged...in case you hadn't heard. You see, Friday we close on a house. She has spent the better part of the last month at Yankees games, er, working in Amish country Lancaster, Pa. It’s not something we haven't talked about. Last Friday, Riley's parents were in town getting soon-to-be sister-in-law Jessica settled in her freshmen year at Winthrop. I failed miserably at trying to bring the issue up previously in McBee and Edisto. But now we weren't just living together because I suddenly and swiftly moved back from Chicago, we are buying a house together, a slightly larger investment than a lease deposit. The time was now so I had the talk, of all places, at the Cracker Barrell right after a delicious country fried steak and side of slaw. No lemonade though...sidenote, the C.B.'s lemonade has turned sour...literally. Once I had the ok and picked up the ring (which I had purchased a week before with Jack's support...and dinner at Sir Edmond's) it was time to set up the plan. Roo flew in last night with plans to head home to help her mom out for a few days. My plan was to have a nice dinner Thursday night and drop the pop in the privacy of our own table amidst 30-40 other Blue patrons. I carried that ring around for a few days; it was burning a hole in my pocket. I had told some people so my anxiety was intensified by the worrying that someone might spill the beans with even the slightest hint. I couldn't wait til Thursday. I was picking her up at the airport, it would be perfect...she'd come down the escalator, a sort of flipped Cruel Intentions airport scene and right there in the privacy of Zone C baggage claim, I'd ask her. As I waited for her arrival, which somehow was early this time, I was gladly greeted by my brother Mike and his buddy who had just landed from a weekend in Chicago. We caught up and I headed down towards the stairway. His threat to congratulate her upon her arrival pressed me even more to do it now. I should have taken the escalator being broken as a sign. Turns out, while I was waiting at the stairs, she was waiting for me...at baggage claim. She came down the other stairway. No worries, I had planned for this and untied my shoe. I knew she'd catch it and as I got down to tie it, I'd let her have it. It was like an alley-oop to myself off the backboard. But it didn't work, I hesitated and feared making the moment awkward, I pressed on. There is a fountain outside, right there will work...nevermind, it’s too hot. We'll go to dinner now, on the way home...cancel that. We stopped at Jamie's new apartment and all 3 went to dinner. While it would have been good to have someone there to take a picture, Wild Wings didn't seem like the right place. Maybe I should wait until Thursday...no, I can't. I'll do it when we get home...but I didn't know how. The ride home, I made up a whole story about how I did eat dinner with her parents and had asked permission to move in with her even though we weren't engaged or married and promised that as soon as we were settled, I'd move forward. I am not sure she bought it, but I don't think she really bought on to what was happening either. I know she certainly didn't expect what was going to happen next. We got home and she hopped in the shower. I quickly changed, polished off the stone and band (for the 1,000 time that day). I turned out the lights and lit the only two candles we have left in our Home Depot box/Rubbermaid bin-clad home. She was done in the shower and there I was. Before she could yell at me for getting water all over the floor, I apologized for lying to her, I told her not to be mad but that the story I told her about dinner with her parents wasn't true. Then with the ring in my shaking hand, I asked her to marry me. In case you hadn't heard, she said yes...